Christmastime Grace

This is not a dog-related post today.

My joy was stolen for a few days this week.  Let me explain.  My hubby's business did well this year and we were excited to be able to be a bit more extravagant with our gifts to our kids this year.  After much thought and shopping (which I normally hate!), I was soooo excited imagining how thrilled and SURPRISED they would be when they opened their gifts on Christmas morn.  But then... I was gone for half a day and left the homeschooled preteen home, in addition to a sick teen.  I should have known.  I should have taken more precaution.  But, I was late for a meeting that morning.  And it happened.  They peeked.  My teen boy's BIG Christmas gift was discovered.  No longer would it be an unexpected surprise.  No, now it was a known.  My emotions ranged from anger to deep sadness and disappointment.  I even told them I was taking back all their gifts (which I knew I wouldn't do, but I hoped at least that would leave them wondering, and hoping for what Christmas morning would bring).  Truth is, they had stolen my joy as the giver of a gift.  I had planned it out with perfection, and they didn't let my plan come to fruition in it's timely manner.   As I reflected on this, and dealt with my emotions, and knew in my heart that they deserved grace, the undeserved gift, it hit me with a thud in my heart.  A moment in which I gulped with understanding.

How many times do we take control of the perfect gift that God has planned for us, to be given in His perfect timing?  In faith, we pray and ask God to help us in a situation (or maybe to achieve possession of something), but when the answer does not seem to be forthcoming or the answer is not the desired one, we peek!  No patient waiting for that moment of revelation to arrive.  I can only wonder how many gifts have been lost or ruined by a lack of trust that my Father has my best interest at heart, and that it is to His pleasure to watch me receive those gifts.  And yet, in spite of the gaps in faith that this sort of thing shows, he gives me grace.  Even when we fail to deserve it, he loves us and shares the best gift of all- an eternal life with Him.

Thank you, God, for your love and patience with me.  Thank you for your Spirit that guides and teaches.  I got my joy back.